Patterns and Change

When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.

Tuli Kupferberg, poet, peace activist

Lately I’ve been up against persistent patterns of numbness and distance. I know where they began. I understand their destructiveness. I see them and feel them. I see how they injure others. Yet, the grip of these patterns remains powerfully paralyzing.

As a survivor or childhood sexual abuse (CSA) I have learned that the only way to recover from these painful patterns is to retreat and spend time in relationship with myself. Time alone quiets the world and I am able to hear my heart. Slowly I begin to feel.

For many, Childhood sexual abuse results in persistent difficulties forming and sustaining relationships. The most intimate of all relationships is one’s relationship with the self. As we heal and recover from the harm of CSA, my hope for you and for me, is that we nurture our souls and liberate ourselves from the patterns of going numb and checking out. We can thank those patterns for helping us to survive from the brutal betrayal of trust and boundaries we experienced as children. We can gently embrace ourselves as we return from numbness.

• How will you connect with yourself today?
• What will help you to feel fully alive to the awesomeness that survives within you?