Acceptance

Today, acceptance of what we cannot change.

Early in my healing journey, I attended a 12-step program for survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. It was a revelation to sit among other survivors. In their stories, to understand that I truly was not alone, as I previously believed.

Many draw solace from the serenity prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Acceptance is possible, although at times it is difficult to access. I recently watched the large crashing waves of the Pacific Ocean. A man attempted to enter the water by jumping up into the waves only to be pushed back, sputtering and unbalanced. His attempts were tiring to watch! A woman walked into the water, and gracefully dove under and through an oncoming swell. She surfaced beyond the break and bobbed in the calm waters beyond. This is what acceptance looks like. It is active. These waves are more powerful than my ability to jump through them … I will dunk beneath and pass through.

At times the residiual grief of childhood sexual abuse is like battering surf, choppy and unrelenting. It pummels me over and over. The more I attempt to resist, the more ensnared I become. When I accept that loss is an appropriate emotion, the struggle leaves me and I experience a powerful grace that brings me to the calm on the other side.

• Where can you accept your experience to bring calm to your heart?
• What wisdom can you find today to get to the “calm water” ?